JAZZY'S TRAVELS

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I definitely think I'm going to like Vietnam. Unfortunately my ability to write with eloquence and wit has flown out the window into the hectic streets of Hanoi, so bare with me...

Today, Julia and I got back from our Halong Bay trip, and it was absolutely incredible! We had the choice of either a 2day/1night or 3day/2night trip and we decided to go with the more expensive (a wopping $64!) 2 night trip, and I wouldn't change it for anything...well maybe a million dollars, but that's besides the point.

The first day we were with a great group of people (minus one, but I'll tell you about her later). We got on the boat, had a great lunch, visited Amazing Cave (aka: Penis Cave...don't ask), and went swimming. The water temperature was just the way I like it and the bay was beautiful. That night we slept out on the deck under the stars, it couldn't have been better...well maybe with you guys, but you know what I mean.

Halong Bay

Fishing boat in Halong Bay

Amazing Cave...you can't see what makes it "amazing" and a floating village

The next day was the best day of all. We went kayaking in the morning (Jared, I now know how you feel when I'm in a canoe with you). Unfortunately I couldn't take my camera, but I can guarantee that it was beautiful. Our guide was kinda funny. At one point he led us into this dead end and just kinda lingered there humming/singing. It was hilarious, but the American in me was thinking: "What the hell are you doing?! I didn't come here to sing to the shrubbery! Are we gonna kayak or what?!" But now, looking back, floating there was kinda nice, although at the time I was antsy.

Anyway, after kayaking, 3 of us, Julia, me and we'll call her "Gemini" (she's the minus one) split off from the rest of the group because they were only doing 2day/1night tours. We got onto a smaller boat which took us to this little beach and had the most amazing BBQ lunch. It was paradise.

me...he he & lunch (minus the baguettes, my faaaaavorite)

That night we stayed on Cat Ba island (cute, quaint, boring but good) and today, after some more scrumdidliumptous meals, we came home...I mean back to Hanoi.
Now, when I said I wouldn't change a thing, that was a bit of a lie (or shall I say "Optimistic Jasmine" taking over). There are 2 things I would change:

1. "Gemini"
2. Our last meal

"Gemini". Well, lets just say she wasn't the happiest camper, or we could say she was an incessant complainer who I felt the urge to strangle once every 5 minutes! Somehow (actually not "somehow", she was pressured into booking the trip before she'd even read the brochure), she thought we were going trekking and when she found out we weren't, there were enough sighs, frowns and complaints to fill a week at Fat Camp. You would think she'd never travelled a day in her life, especially since she allowed the woman at the hotel to fluster her enough to book a trip before reading up on it!

The #1 Rule of Travel:

NEVER LET ANYONE PRESSURE YOU INTO ANYTHING

Chances are you'll find a better, cheaper deal, so take your time. Plus, pressure is the conmans/conwomans most valuable weapon.

Anyway, to make a long story short, she was annoying as hell (I mean the woman couldn't even have seafood by her!) and I would have eliminated her from my paradise.

Two...Lunch. Today, before we headed back to Hanoi, we had lunch at a restaurant in the bay. During lunch, a German woman (30ish) who claimed to not be feeling so well, kept asking for vegetable soup instead of seafood, and she was being a bit of a baby about it. I tried to ignore her. She didn't seem to appreciate this because in order to get all of our attention, in the middle of the meal she suddenly jumps up, turns away from the table and proceeds to throw up in her napkin. The waiter then got her a bag that she used as well. After all of this, she simply wipes her mouth, turns back to the table and begins talking with her friend.

Okay, prepare yourselves, because I've got a lot to say about this little event.

I have decided that this woman was an idiot and I wouldn't want anything to do with her EVER, here's why...

First of all, I have thrown up many many times, and I know when I feel shitty, and when I feel that shitty I make sure I'm near a toilet. Therefore, she is an idiot for not taking the proper precautions.

Second. Okay, so let's say she didn't know she was feeling that shitty. She did know she was about to throw up, and if she was able to throw up in a napkin, she could have thrown up in a napkin as she walked out of the room. Therefore, she is an idiot for not trying to make an effort to exit the premises.

Third. Okay, so she couldn't walk and throw up at the same time, fine, fine. She could have at least left the room to clean herself up. I mean "Lady! I just watched you throw up while I was munching on corn and calamari! Please don't make me watch you wipe your mouth off and then proceed to chit chat with your rank breath to your friend!". Therefore, she is an idiot for not giving us the time to get over it without having her there to remind us...Good God! She didn't even go wash her mouth out! aaahhhhh!!!!!

Finally, she is an idiot because she didn't even have the courtesy to say sorry.

Next time, I'll throw up on her myself.

So, minus those 2 things, it was an amazing trip.

Tomorrow, Julia and I head to Ninh Binh and then on down the coast. This of course will only take place after I mail the huge box of stuff I've bought, so keep your fingers crossed that it won't cost an arm and a leg, because then I'll be in the hospital and there'll be no more traveling for Jasmine.

So far, Vietnam has been great. It's really easy to get around, the people speak English, the food is fresh and absolutely delicious, the people actually smile & nobody stares...well at least it seems like that :P I've over heard a few people saying how it feels like everyone is staring at them, and that it's hard to communicate, and I think to myself that it's a bit ridiculous, but then I realize that things probably seem a whole lot easier because I just got here from the Big PRC (People's Republic of China).

(sorry, quick aside: Right now I'm in the kitchen at the hostel and this French guy is walking around talking to himself. he he...but scary)

When I was in China I kept thinking that it wasn't so bad, but after leaving I realize that it was a really hard country to start out in. Yet, even though it made the beginning of my trip more difficult, I'm glad I did it, because now things can only get easier...

Bring it on 'Nam!